hungry hippies,

how was your weekend?

yeah. ours?

72 hours. no changing clothes.

no showers. water from random public bathroom sinks

sleeping on a floor where we killed at least four cockroaches

before bed.talking to strangers all day, every day.

walking. walking. walking.

depending. on. God.

(hola hippies).

that about sums it up.

and yes someone said that to us.

we had a weekend full of various ministry and experiences in mendoza starting friday night. the entire weekend we took turns electing leaders and for that evening i was nominated, before we knew what we would be doing.

if you were to ask me if i feel like a leader

then i would have to tell you

… no.

i often struggle with what my role

is within my team & yet in that moment

somehow it felt right.

and so i accepted.

shortly after, i was told that

we were responsible for finding our

own dinner, without using any

electronics or any money.

w h a t ?

generally, i am an anxious person. about everything. especially however, about having enough to eat and drink – despite the fact that i have never gone hungry or thirsty a day in my life. i have also shared in an earlier blog about how during an activity in the past i was unable to get over my pride and ask someone for money – and now here we were, with me as the leader, feeling responsible for somehow feeding ten hungry people. with no money. no maps. no idea.

and yet i felt

p e a c e .

the kind of peace i haven’t felt since the phillipines,

i knew everything would be okay

and i felt good. maybe even…

joy?

the kind of thing that absolutely

could only come from God

because every day i just feel

a raging storm inside

of thoughts and worries and f e a r

but not that night.

that night the first thing i thought of

was abraham and isaac

and how abraham had been asked to

sacrifice his son, and as they go up the mountain

isaac asks his father where the sacrifice is

and with complete confidence

abraham says

God will provide.

my team frequently tells me i am quick to lead us in to prayer, and to invite God into our activities. it’s funny – because i am the one who feels the most disconnected from Him, the one who feels He is silent, but more and more i notice that i do tend to stop and bring us back to prayer.

so of course,

we started in prayer.

asking God to lead us

almost immediately my teammates

were flooded with images:

a coffee and ice cream shop

a wall of flowers

green and white trim

psalm 23

and the direction left.

i’ve noticed more & more

that God seems to speak to me more

with directions. i feel a tugging sensation

like a string attached to my chest and in my throat

pulling in that direction. or i see a spinning compass

that points a certain way.

i felt like we should go left.

confirmed by another teammate

who felt the same thing.

so we went left.

and nearly a block in,

we see a ice cream and coffee shop.

it felt like a landmark more than anything

so we kept going and saw a restaurant named

“cieblo” which happened to be the name

of the house we had worked on all week

at the YWAM base.

in broken spanish i told the waiter that we were missionaries

and asked if we could pray for him or the restaurant

he said no.

our squad leader then advised

that maybe we should ask for what

we actually need – food.

(ask & you shall receive).

and so we kept walking

and saw a building with a green

and white trim. and found a nearby

café to ask for food – they said no,

but told us mcdonalds would probably

give us some, or starbucks when they

close at one a.m.

we kept going, and shortly

saw an advertisement for mcdonalds

with a little fruit stand nearby.

we asked the man for fruit and he gave us some of his

older fruit for free and allowed our group

to pray for him and his family.

we kept asking various places

for “libre” food. and one café directed

us to a pizza place with “libre pizza”

when we got there we realized

there was a pizza literally named

“libre pizza”

… but it was not free pizza.

the word we were actually looking for

was “gratzi”.

but two of my teammates went

inside and they offered to let them

do dishes for a little bit in exchange

for two pizzas.

so while they washed dishes the rest of us went around to other restaurants and mini marts in the area asking for free food. one place wouldn’t give food but did give us 20 pesos. we kept going, and kept asking, and kept praying over people and places as we went.

and then we went into a mini mart

and i asked if we could have a liter of coke

or water – the woman said no. when i asked

if we could pray over her, she said yes and told

us about her life a little bit. when we finished

praying, she gave us a liter of club soda and a big

bag of cookies.

interestingly enough

in the middle of the area

where we found the food and drinks

was a van with a green and white trim

as we had been so provided for

we thought about spending the 20 pesos

but i asked the team if we should consider

if maybe it was for someone else

we prayed about it

and a woman who looked either homeless

or very poor came up selling little candies

so we bought them from her

walking back with our two pizzas, club soda, two candies, a bag of fruit, and cookies

we felt a sense of joy – God provided for us in abundance

(but i think we all saw it coming)

when we got back to the park

we were told that because God

had blessed us we should bless others

we had to give all the food and drinks

we had found

a w a y

so we did. we found people and pushed through to look

for people who really needed it

and then we were given some time

to try and find more food for ourselves

we ended up with two sandwiches.

and you know what?

it was fine.

it was better than fine.

i’ve been feeling so distant from God

but this night, at almost every intersection

we turned to God

and He answered

it took so many things being stripped

a w a y

for me to hear Him

pride.

time.

control.

hygiene.

food.

(maybe it takes a little

less of me

and more of You).

He knew who the food was really for

all along and blessed us in so many ways

and so that night other people

were blessed as well.

i wouldn’t say i was the leader

of that activity.

but i have received feedback

that often i am the advocate

for the voice of the Holy Spirit

(never expected that

to be my r o l e )

so we prayed and prayed and prayed

and we followed

where

God led us all along.

* this was the previous weekend – i’ll leave it at that it was very interesting in it’s entirety and i learned a lot about myself, God, and learning how to work through just going with the flow when you don’t know what life will throw at you next –