June 30, 2018

what’s next?

the question we all ask ourselves –

what next?

the thing that kept me from coming on the race

for so many years was a different question:

how do you ever come back from something like this?

and here i am, two months left,

and i don’t know that answer.

but an opportunity i never expected has arisen

in the most interestingly woven way –

during our few days in sofia, bulgaria

carolyn and i met a man in a coffee shop.

and i think back, back to how i wanted to get

to that shop at exactly 10 am but on a whim

carolyn came with me and we got side tracked and

if it had been my plan, if i had not been diverted

i never would have met him and –

God knows.

he’s standing there, plate in hand, quietly

asks if he can set down his food while he waits for a table

and so we invite him to sit with us.

and we spend the next five hours talking to him.

a gentleman from afghanastan in his late thirties

who grew up during the war, becoming a refugee

scarred by pieces of s h r a p n e l still embedded in his skin

telling us tales of his life, his loves, his search for God –

we listen and we question and we pray together

and he paints images of our interaction in the form

of tents sheltering and wilting away in the desert

i heard you cry out and

i think we all left a little changed, with a

shift in perspective, questions to seek after –

at the end, he tells us that he has something he thinks

we should check out, something that would be perfect for us

something i’ve never heard of –

the rotary peace fellowship.

he’s just completed this. it’s a two

year master program where you study abroad (one

of the schools is in japan) that is fully paid for –

it’s a degree in peace studies and international conflict resolution.

and in my heart i know, the minute he says it,

(this is what i’ve been looking for – )

remembering how in undergraduate i thought about

majoring in peace studies but what would i do with it and

isn’t job security and the ability to support myself more

important and –

(i didn’t know -)

the application is due in two days.

(in two days we’ll be in africa).

but he says he can email people to help us apply,

that if we persist we can do it, we can make it

so i pray and i hear yes – that if i apply God

will open all the d o o r s –

but then i look at it and it seems impossible, i need

references and transcripts and there are five essay

questions i can’t begin to answer and i’m trying to get the

transcript and emailing all the people and there’s no response

and now it’s the night before the final day and it’s

hopeless

but God reminds me.

I’ll open the doors.

i tell Him

You’ll have to part the s e a .

but in that moment i commit – and suddenly, everything,

everything starts coming together s e a m l e s s l y –

i get an electronic transcript, everyone is emailing me back

in rapid fire response, my two references submit immediately

and we’re in istanbul for a six hour layover before getting to africa

and i have five essays to write.

alli – this girl, this girl who has been with me through every hill

i have had to face since training camp, spends the entire six hours

helping me write these essays, and carolyn quickly comes to our aide –

i submit the application five minutes before

boarding the plane to ethiopia.

we arrive only to find out we will only get wifi once a week,

on sunday – offices closed.

but the first time we get wifi one of the women i need to hear

from emails me – and in the very last ten minutes of our wifi

time she tells me the first interview can be conducted by email

considering my situation – she sends the questions but needs them

by tomorrow –

i get back to the house, scramble to answer all the questions

and talk to my host, who graciously offers to send the

email to them using his data.

the following sunday they tell me they need a skype interview

that week – and it’s crazy, the time difference – but even so

people email me and we set t up for that thursday

and again God provides.

my host agrees to take me into town.

i panic. i don’t interview well and the power goes out all the time

and the wifi doesn’t always work but …

alli and vivi help me practice interviewing, over and over –

vivi isn’t on my team, but our teams are together this month,

and aside from being my friend, she is also a college admissions

counselor and has vast experience with interviewing

(and for the first time ever on the race, we’re in the same place)

the girls rally. they pray for me. they bring out their

best shirts and accessories and help me pick the best outfit.

miranda does my makeup –

we get to the place early and w a i t –

and an hour before the interview the thunderstorm comes

and the power goes o u t –

it comes back on fifteen minutes before the interview and

works f l a w l e s s l y throughout the storm.

the interview – i felt prepared and the questions

i wasn’t prepared for the Holy Spirit absolutely helped

give me the words to answer their questions and

at the end … i felt peace.

at every turn God has p a r t e d

this s e a and i don’t know, i don’t know

what will happen.

i won’t find out until november.

they take 50 applicants out of 600-1000

every two years and i am not the typical profile –

but what i do know is that this year

peace building has been a huge theme for me

and it feels like a familiar place i’ve forgotten

and God asked me to apply – and even if

even if it doesn’t work out through all of this

i have seen God work in crazy ways and i have

been reminded of his faithfulness, i had people

rally with me and… i felt loved. loved by the people